Being Responsible On The Trail

 A woman was swept away in a flash flood in Zion National Park over the weekend and they have now found her body six miles downstream. This was an innocent woman who was merely out enjoying the natural wonders of Zion, so I am sorry to hear of her death. But, there are details in the story that are pertinent to me and some of my recent experiences.

One of the things that stands out to me is that she was hiking with a brother and a friend. They both decided to turn around when they heard about the flash flood warning, but she continued on to explore the canyon. Let's ignore the fact that "flash floods" are aptly named and can be literal walls of water rushing down river beds, sweeping everything away in front of them. Instead, just focus on The Narrows and the Virgin River in Zion. This river is very well known for its dangerous flash floods and the fact that there is very little you can do if you're in the canyon when one comes. When she made the decision to continue hiking with a flash flood warning in place she was taking an enormous risk. This one turned out badly, of course.

But, there's more to this story than that. Many people close to me are critical of how I'm a solo hiker. They are concerned about my safety when I'm out on the trail by myself and what I would do if I got hurt. I keep assuring them that being a solo hiker is not the same as being alone. There are lots of people on the trail. And, there is a whole grid making the wilds of this country accessible to people and supporting them. Read the article about the search for Ms. Agnihotri. It says the search included 170 searchers over a four-day period with trained swift water searchers and search dogs. She was not alone.

Which brings me to my point here - I'm sorry for Ms. Agnihotri, but her decision was reckless and has affected people far from Zion. She put those searchers (including the dogs) at risk and forced them to use valuable resources in the search. Her friends and family now have to live with her loss. What are her brother and friend feeling? Are they thinking about what they could've said or done to get her to turn around with them? What about her co-workers who arrived at work Monday to learn she wasn't coming back? And her employer who was depending on her to do her job? Even her landlord or roommate has to deal with the fact she won't be living in her apartment or home anymore. The ripples from her decision are spreading out far and wide.

Yes, you have a right in this country to put yourself at risk, but you have to do so with the understanding there are consequences of your actions. You are not the only one to pay the price.

Okay, a little grandstanding, right? Unfortunately, I was recently put in this position and I didn't appreciate it.

I was a member of a hiking group out of Austin and did all of the training for wilderness first aid and to be a event leader. I was contacted this past spring to be a leader on the annual trip to Colorado. They didn't have enough leaders and would have to cancel the event if they couldn't find them. I said I would be glad to go as an assistant leader and the wilderness first aid trained person, but I wouldn't be the leader. They said that would work and we did our trip earlier this month.

Well, there were problems. I'm not going to go into a list of grievances, but this event in Zion illustrates the problem with this group that bothered me so much I quit it after the trip. Simply, several people in the group were inconsiderate of safety procedures. They were all experienced backpackers and knew about safety protocols, they just didn't care to follow them. It led to some confrontations.

I served as what is known as the sweep. This is the last person in the group, hikes with a trail first aid kit, and makes sure everyone gets off the trail safely. By definition, the sweep is the last person off the trail. But, by safety protocols the group should be finishing as a group. It is not possible for the sweep to know no one got left behind without visually seeing everyone. Some of these trails are on very steep slopes and even shear cliffs. If someone were to fall over the edge of the trail they could be severely injured, or dead, and no one would be able to see them. And, if number nine in the group gets injured, the sweep as number ten would need some help getting the individual to safety. Sucks if numbers one through eight have rushed down the trail and left them behind.

So, that happened very badly on day one. I got down to the trailhead with two others and the rest of the group was gone except for my ride. Six of the ten people in the group were unaccounted for. I received assurance they had all arrived at the trailhead safely and had left. But what if that information had been wrong? That would've meant someone was still in the mountains with night time coming. Even in the summer, that is hazardous with frequent torrential thunderstorms and cold temperatures. 

So, we had a group discussion. I was irritated by not mad. Things happen, let's try to do better. And, next day was better, but it still wasn't good. We were more of a group but I would keep counting and would consistently come up two people short. Where were they? Were they racing off and leaving the group behind, despite our conversation? Or, did they fall off the edge of the trail? Fortunately, I was able to locate them at the bottom and was sure we didn't leave someone behind.

We had another group discussion. Again, I wasn't angry, although I was more upset. That is, until one member of the group said they wanted to take their own car for the next hike so that they could "race down" and leave early.

WHAT?!!!! ARE YOU NOT F****ING HEARING YOURSELF?!!!!

No, I didn't say it, but I was certainly thinking it and by now I was angry.

We managed to work things out and the remaining hikes went very well. We all stayed together as a group and everyone was accounted for. Everyone finished the week safely. But, I thought it wasn't because we did everything right, it was because we got lucky. And, that really bothered me. Luck runs out eventually. Later, I was talking to another leader who commented, without any prodding on my part, that the only reason we got out of there without any injuries was because "we got lucky." Not my words. So, it wasn't just me.

I have to take responsibility for my own failures and wonder how it was that I couldn't communicate to everyone how important it was. It was my responsibility and I had difficulty doing it, despite my training and experience. I truly consider it a failure on my part as much as being irresponsible on their part.

I go hiking for a number of reasons. Certainly the love of nature and beautiful places is a big part, but the peace it brings to me is a major part. I can relax and be myself without the impositions of society and other people. I feel as if I can just be me, not what others expect me to be. That didn't happen on this hike despite the magnificent trails we were hiking. I wasn't glad to leave the mountains, but I was glad to leave the group (As a note, there were several members of this group that I sincerely enjoyed being with. The few bad apples syndrome was in effect here.) This wasn't the first time this has happened on hiking events with this organization. In fact, it has happened more often than not.

I joined this hiking group for a number of reasons. I was now forced to admit that those goals I had in mind were not being realized and I left the organization after getting back. I was a member of another hiking group (which was much better), but once again, the goals I had when joining weren't being realized and I quit that one, too. I'm back to being a solo hiker.

Your actions have consequences far beyond you. The actions of these people had consequences that affected me. I hope any consequences of my decisions don't affect anyone adversely, but it was certainly time for me to move on.